I give it a 6 for effort.
Up until reading that comment, I felt as if this would be well suited for a Megaman or Robot Showdown in a Flash vid. Music is funny sometimes. The creative process can make the idea for you as you write a song. Still though, if you didn't want it to sound like a Showdown or Spanish, you had control.
That digression aside, I'll tell you what I like. The guitar and soft breakdown I like a lot. Even the beginning with the backing chords is nice, albeit a little loud on the ears.
My only constructive criticism is where's the ending? I hate telling people how to write their songs 'cause I know how offended I get when people tell me to change up my stuff. What I would do with this song though, is listen to it as a prototype for perhaps a newer, better version, or for ideas for another song completely. If you want, try rearranging where things go. There's a lot of potential in this song. (My trick is that I let things built a little bit later, [primarily after 4 bars]).
Like I said before about the whole Showdown thing. If you didn't want it to sound like a Showdown, don't call it that. The whole time I was thinking, "Why doesn't this sound darker and more nerve-wracking?" If that's still the route you want to take, I'd say maybe a little bit of a faster beat and minor chords would help. Anyway, this is just some food for thought man. Be good.
- MLC